I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
operation have a gay friend backfired
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
