broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
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Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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