This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize