I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
