So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future