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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You guys are open that late?

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• (510): View more from California

  Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.    

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.

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• (818): View more from California

  I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  I know but these gold fish are so much better

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