i just had sex bonerless
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.