Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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