'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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