It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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