Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
