she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
