Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
