I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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