...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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