I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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