i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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