Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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