new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
