last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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