i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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