you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
