wake up i wanna do it froggy style
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
