just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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