Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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