I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
