I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
be right there i have to get my cape
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
