So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
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I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
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But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?