hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot