I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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