dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
