Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
