Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
