I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i will never coherently bang her
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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