If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
3 2 1 whiskey
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
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