i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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