chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
