you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Randomize