so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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