Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
