I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think a kid would responsible me up
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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