Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
40s are totally the cure
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Someone signed my nipple.
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