just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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