Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.