I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
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His apartment number was 69. I had to.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
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You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.