this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
