Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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