so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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