So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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