That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
