I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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