Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize