Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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