Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
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He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
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He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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