LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
