dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
