Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
