I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
