planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
