Joe is yelling at the trees again.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
