The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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