I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
